The following post is a written summary of a recent YouTube post on my Channel.
1. The Fortress Metaphor and the Process of Forgiveness
I open with a vivid metaphor of being inside a fortress surrounded by hostile warriors or a rowdy crowd. This fortress represents my state of isolation or defensiveness. The approach I suggest is to gradually open the gate, allowing one person in at a time, and making peace with each individual. This symbolizes my incremental process of forgiveness—rather than trying to forgive everyone at once, I make peace step-by-step with each perceived adversary.
2. The Concept of Oneness and the Illusion of Separation
A central philosophical point I make is that there is ultimately “just one” entity or consciousness, meaning there is no true separation between myself and others. The idea that when I hurt someone else, I hurt myself is a relative truth but not the ultimate truth. In reality, no two separate beings exist; rather, there is a singular existence manifesting in multiple forms. This challenges my common mindset of blame and resentment toward others.
3. Resentment as a Reflection of Self-Responsibility
I share a personal experience involving deep resentment toward others who had caused perceived harm. A key insight I had is that those others had only acted in response to prior actions—often ones initiated by me—even if that cause-and-effect relationship was not initially recognized. This implies that my resentment is a form of self-deception or evasion from accepting my own part in relational dynamics.
4. The Illusion of Personal Identity and Responsibility
I refer to myself as an “imaginary character,” suggesting that my egoic self is a mental construct rather than an ultimate reality. This viewpoint leads me to the paradoxical conclusion that there is no one truly responsible or blameworthy because the separateness needed for blame does not ultimately exist. However, this does not absolve my physical body or relative self from actions and consequences in the material world.
5. Instant Karma and Responsibility in Relativity
While the ultimate truth denies separation, the physical or relative world operates under cause and effect. I emphasize that karma—understood here as immediate consequences of actions—is real within this relative frame. Blaming others creates a cycle of mutual hurt and suffering, which is karmic in nature. At the same time, my body and personality must bear responsibility for actions taken within the relative domain.
6. The Challenge of Awakening and the Elusiveness of the Self
I describe awakening or enlightenment as a state where I recognize the non-existence of the separate self. However, I note that this awakened being cannot truly be found or grasped because it is not a tangible entity. This recognition dissolves my mental fortress of “me versus them” and the associated grievances, but it is not something to be achieved or handled—it simply is.
7. True Forgiveness as Forgiving Myself First
To forgive others fully, I must first forgive myself, including the self that holds grievances and the imagined separate identity. Since the separation is illusory, forgiving “others” is essentially forgiving aspects of myself. This process involves releasing the mental position of being “right” and acknowledging the absence of a separate self to hold responsible.
Key Conclusions
1. There Is Ultimately No Separation Between Myself and Others
The ultimate truth is that all perceived individuals are manifestations of one unified existence. This understanding dissolves my basis for resentment, blame, and conflict because these arise from the mistaken belief in separateness.
2. Forgiveness Is a Gradual Process of Opening to Oneness
Forgiveness is not a one-time event but a stepwise opening of the metaphorical gate to let in one person at a time, making peace with each perceived adversary. This symbolizes my gradual dismantling of mental barriers and illusions of separation.
3. Responsibility Exists Within the Relative World, but Not Ultimately
While my ego and body must be accountable for actions within the physical world, these responsibilities do not extend to the ultimate reality where there is no individual self. This dual perspective helps me reconcile relative karma and spiritual truth.
4. The Illusion of “Me” as a Separate Entity Is the Root of Conflict
My mental fortress and the belief in “I am right and you are wrong” create divisions and justify grievances. Recognizing the emptiness of this separate self is key to resolving my inner conflict and extending forgiveness.
5. Self-Forgiveness Is Fundamental to Forgiving Others
Because the self and others are ultimately one, forgiving myself—including the self that imagines being wronged—is the foundation for genuine forgiveness of all others. This shifts my focus from external blame to internal healing.
6. Awakening Cannot Be Handled or Controlled Because It Transcends the Ego
The awakened state is not an achievement or possession but a realization of the absence of a separate self. My attempts to “handle” life from this perspective are futile because the self that attempts control is illusory.
7. The Experience of Resentment Is a Mental Position, Not an Absolute Reality
Holding resentment is linked to my mental construct of separateness and responsibility. Releasing resentment involves seeing through this illusion and recognizing that all actions “just happen” without a doer or victim in the ultimate sense.
Fred Davis
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